Saturday, March 25, 2006

secret tarot

Feeling si-ick.
Listening to computer hum?
Currently addicted to tarot
Currently irritated by coughing...
Current MSN details: Captain Enthusiasm
Today's Cards: 4 of Swords R, The Tower R, The Devil R, Temperance


Woo, got my Secret Tarot today...something in me just likes it a lot, though I can see why a lot of people wouldn't like it at all. I muuuust show my favourite cards (in order of likeyness, sort of):

Eight of Swords
Death
Temperance
Justice (I half-expect to see Pamela on this card...thanks a lot, Tarot Café. xD)
Four of Pentacles
The Hermit
Queen of Swords
Knight of Cups (the card that usually represents me in readings; both him and the Knight of Swords)
Page of Pentacles (this card reminds me of George... <3)

Grr! I like sooo many of them, but I had to limit myself there. [laughs] The Death card in this deck is craaaaazy! So much is going on in such a small image...it's lovely. xD Though I should've thrown a happy card somewhere in my favourites list there...everything seems so...heavily foreboding. [laughs]

Here, have a Six of Cups to cheer you up. xD

Can you believe it's been DAYS since I last watched P&P? OMG the insanity!!! How am I even living? [laughs] Though I did watch Sense & Sensibility the other day...augh, I always feel SO sorry for Alan Rickman/Col Brandon in that movie...he gets so ripped off all the time, hahaha.

Anyway, I'd better get to sleep...my everything is killing me. [laughs]

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

WAOWOWOWOAOOWWOW!!!1

Feeling like shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitake
Listening to "Pavane" - Gabriel Fauré
Currently addicted to JSMN...sort of. Not obsessed with anything right now, really. o_O
Currently irritated by my coughy-wanna-vomity-ness; my broken glasses.
Current MSN details: The Raven Volant - I love...I love...I love you.
Today's Cards: did too big a reading to relate here, oooooaah.


MUMMY LOOK I ACTUALLY DID RWS HOMEWORK TODAY AND DID IT DAMN WELL TOO.

FIN.

Monday, March 13, 2006

pride & prejudice review

Feeling awed.
Listening to "fantasia on a theme by thomas tallis" - ralph vaughan williams
Currently addicted to my own hair, strangely enough. [laughs]
Currently irritated by my eyes...they keep going all foggy on me.
Current MSN details: Revelle-rin - PAPA SPANK!!!
Today's Cards: Three of Cups R

I finally watched Pride & Prejudice this morning, as in 2am morning. [laughs]

Being such a fan of anything Pride and Prejudice, you'd think I'd have rushed out the moment it came out in theaters instead of waiting for it this long. Believe me, I wanted to, but such things aren't always so easy. [laughs] Anyway, I feel like talking about it, and since about one and a half people read this, I can rant on and on...and on and on...and on and on. xD

[Thoughts Beforehand]
I was a bit worried. Keira Knightley wasn't my top Elizabeth and I didn't hold any prior fondness for her from what I'd seen--a sort of indifference, really. Matthew Macfadyen. Who's that, you ask? Exactly. [laughs] I had no clue about him, though I'd heard his name before, so I couldn't say what I really thought of him being Mr Darcy.

Now, on a side-ish note, a lot of P&P fans just adore the 1995 miniseries with Colin Firth as Darcy--I won't lie, I'm one of those people; I fucking love it and I fucking love Colin Firth. [laughs] (Though it must be said that I wasn't quite a fan until I saw him in P&P, even though I'd loved him greatly as the Vicomte de Valmont in Valmont--he's vaaaastly sexier as Darcy, be it P&P or Bridget Jones. ^^)

[Initial Thoughts]
The grunge.
Far from the pretty, prim, proper looks of previous film adaptations that I've laid eyes upon, this was more real, and you can see it right away. The Bennets living their country existence really shows through. In the miniseries version (which one can't help but compare it to, seeing as it's probably still the most popular adaptation), you have to stop and think, "Wait, these people are supposed to be poor?" because it honestly doesn't seem so. They seem quite comfortable, but in this version, you get a more genuine view on their situation. Some probably wouldn't like that--I loved it.

Keira Knightley (Elizabeth Bennet).
Upon first glance I thought she looked rather sick, more of a Jane Eyre than a Lizzie Bennet. Wasn't quite sure what to think, but I wanted to stay neutral and see what she was capable of.

[Moving Along; Actors, Actors]
Knightley began to seem less and less like a Jane Eyre to me, and pretty quickly at that. She seemed to fit quite snugly in the role of Elizabeth, holding that independent spirit about her near-tangibly. I also liked that Knightley didn't look too made-up. She wasn't as beautiful as the ever-lovely Jane, played by Rosamund Pike (who is just wow! haha), but she was beautiful in her own earthy, natural way. Besides, she isn't supposed to be as pretty as Jane. No one is. [laughs]

Matthew Macfadyen (Mr Darcy).
Well. It seems every on-screen Darcy is instructed to have a majorly gigantasaur stick up his arse upon first entrance, and Macfadyen sticks to that principle hardcore, and appropriately so. [laughs] Good gods, I was just cringing under that gaze! Nice job there, haha! He didn't appear horribly attractive or anything (but do they ever?) and I was waiting for more of him to show before making any proper judgements.

Simon Woods (Mr Bingley).
Adorable! The two or three other Bingleys I've seen were annoying and forgettable, and the type of guy you wonder why Jane loves. [laughs] But Woods was absolutely wonderful--far surpassing the other Mr Bingleys and far surpassing my expectations of him. I loved how rebelliously modern that hair of his looked. ;D So it was a bit out of place and distracting me for quite a while, but I rather liked it. The way he acted out such a clumsy demeanour while not making it obnoxious was great--perfect.

Tom Hollander (Mr Collins).
[just laughs] What an awesome performance...yet another perfect capture. I would imagine Mr Collins has got to be one of the hardest characters to play, but damn, he does it very well, making him come off as unpleasant and laughable--utterly ridiculous, just as he ought to be.

Orlando Bloom--
er.
Rupert Friend (Mr Wickham).
[laughs again] Well, here as the notorious bastard Wickham we have Orlando Bloom's hotter and vastly more talented doppelganger, Rupert Friend. (ha!) You know what I'm going to say: he did a great job. (Otherwise I would never have mentioned him, eh?) Really had that sort of suave and pretty feel about him, with that "shithead" undercurrent running nicely underneath. [laughs] Damn striking; I spent about a minute or so going, "What the fuck is Orlando Bloom doing in this movie? And why is he acting really well all of a--oh, that isn't him, no wonder. Thought it was too good to be true." I think he's a face to watch out for, though...I'd like to see him in more movies. Seems a talented fellow, yes yes. [nods] >.>

[Moving Along, Part Two]
The Eye Candy.
Well now, some of the 'modern film' elements threw me off a bit, most notably that whole damned sudden-zoomy thing they've got going on. I got used to it though, even though it still seems too 'Kimberly's 5th birthday party' for my tastes.

It doesn't matter, however, because the beautiful shots that drench this film more than made up for it. Wicked god, my eyes were about bleeding with how pretty this movie is. The little fantasy sequence where Knightley closes her eyes and finds herself standing at the edge of the cliff is absolutely stunning.

The Marriage Proposal, and Matthew Macfadyen Revisited.
...Aaaaaaauuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhh!!!
That scene where he finally confesses his affections for Elizabeth--I've never seen it pulled off any better, and I honestly don't think I ever will. So...SO...awesome. It was right at that point where I nodded to myself and said with certainty, "Yes, he's a great Darcy." What a marvelous choice of setting! The rain just gave it such a...pounding, urgent feeling. Much more interesting than them being confined to a room and having Darcy stomp around being pissed. I loved it, I really did. He and Knightley in this scene: overwhelming perfection.

I've always liked to think of Mr Darcy as dark chocolate: dark, rich, bitter on the surface, smooth going down, and definitely not for the common, everyday tastes. Does Macfadyen live up to the dark chocolate ideal I hold? Put up the checklist and go ahead and check every item; he's a gem.

In physical terms, Macfadyen presents a picture-perfect Darcy. As I said earlier, he didn't appear horribly attractive, but once he gets going a bit, you kind of find his actions help him out in the attractiveness department. [laughs] And even later, when he loosens up and smiles--oh, what a gorgeous man!

Donald Sutherland (Mr Bennet).
Near the end, in that scene with Knightley, he shone. I thought it was such a beautiful scene, when his eyes watered and he told her how he felt about the whole affair. Ah! [cries like schoolgirl] I've always liked Mr Bennet, and to pick such an actor for his role I think made him even more likeable. So lovely.

[End Feelings]
Love. Love, love, and more love.

What do I think of Keira Knightley now?
I think she did one hell of a job as Elizabeth Bennet. She was real, she was wonderful.
What do I think of Matthew Macfadyen?
I'm getting a craving for dark chocolate. [laughs]

I seem to say this a lot, but this is definitely one of my favourite films now. I feel deprived having waited this long to finally see it, but I'm glad it exceeded my expectations. The direction and setting was stunning in every aspect. The music was hauntingly beautiful, especially in the scene where Darcy walks toward Elizabeth at sunrise; it was quite moving. Speaking of moving, I also liked the pacing of the film. Nothing went too fast or too slow; I was more than content with the pace.

This film does a great job presenting Pride & Prejudice to people who perhaps aren't acquainted with the book. Obviously, I can't really say much more than that, as I've been a fan before seeing this movie, but I feel that everything is clearly presented and the excess was nicely cut away to avoid possible confusion. The Bennet family is portrayed so well, and you can really see how close they are, something I never quite felt satisfied with in the miniseries version.

The contrast between subtle nuances and blatant framing that are everywhere in this film are truly a pleasure to watch. The way the camera focuses on a hand or pans past a window makes it very visually interesting. Some scenes even seem slightly surreal and fantastic, which didn't put me off the way I rationally thought it should for a film adaptation of P&P; on the contrary, I think it rather added to the beauty of the story.


I've written an entire essay on this! [laughs] I felt it necessary to convey my thoughts on it, and if I had the time, I'd probably do such reviews on every other film I love. Besides, when you stay awake all night because you've slept all day, what else have you got to do? xD

Well, it's seven in the morning now...and people are finally awake, so I guess this means I can leave off here. I think I'll watch it again today. I know I'll watch it again today. x3


Ein Edit, per Bloggia:
I joined a bajillion more fanlistings, so I'm finally going to kill off the fanlistings on my page because they're just too much for the side. A link to my fanlisting blog will replace the codes.

Fan-Whoredom

Monday, March 6, 2006

tanzania (in maps!)

Feeling bored and hungry
Listening to nuffin'
Currently addicted to ESKIL COVENANT GEORGECOOPER ESKIL ESKIL ESKIL
Currently irritated by the obscene amount of people situated in this one area of the school library
Current MSN details: Belus - Brüder zur Freiheit! Brüder zum Lichte empor!
Today's Cards: n/a (it seems like I never read, doesn't it?!)


Hm, I just feel so bored that I'm going to update this. Isn't that how it always goes with me?

Things I have the urge for:
- learning Dvorak keyboard...I just need to print key labels! grr!
- Eskil Simonsson...I've always loved his deep, deep singing voice but when you hear him speak normally, in a higher pitch, oohhhhh he sounds adorable. Waaaiii, such a cute accent! <3
- George Cooper from the Song of the Lioness quartet by Tamora Pierce. There is nothing you cannot like about George, except a stupid name like George. He's a thief, he's got purty hazel eyes, and he is...charming George. Ahhhhhhh. <3
- turkey and swiss sub. [drools]
- sleep (as always)
- rain...it looks like it could, but it probably won't.

Why are people such stupid jerks, anyway? [slaps people]

Belus says:
Why, George Cooper is like 18ish when Alanna is 12 or summat...and that's kinda....
Belus says:
hey wait, MY GEORGE IS A PEDOPHILE
Belus says:
and he likes BOYS [note: Alanna poses as Alan, a boy...]
Belus says:
omg! [never noticed]
Belus says:
[feels... . . . ...not too devastated]
Belus says:
[just random and melodramatic]

Why am I so retarded anyway...?

"Having created this superhero with special Japanese martial skills, Akunin sets him on the path of solving mysteries in a "weird" 19th Century world"
hahahaha...what the hell kind of books are you reading, D-Ren?!

Friday, March 3, 2006

never mind, I don't want to sleep. (lol)

Feeling terrified to sleep....
Listening to "ready, steady, go" - paul oakenfold
Currently addicted to reading, I guess.
Currently irritated by this pounding headache; the want to sleep but the fear to do so.
Current MSN details: ??
Today's Cards: n/a

It's 5:15 in the morning at the time I've started to write this. I just woke up and I absolutely refuse to go back to sleep. I've had a short but very jarring night terror, in the vein of the 'usual' ones.

I just knew I had to have another episode sooner or later. Everyone who talks to me knows I was a bit worried about getting one just a few weeks back. I also had a fleeting feeling as I fell into sleep that I would get one this time I slept, because I'd already woken up once in the night (I was thirsty at about midnight, woke up, stayed up for two hours reading) and was having a powerfully hard time getting back to sleep--for me, these are prime factors for sleep paralysis, and if things are bad, sleep terrors.

This one shouldn't have been quite as scary because it's happened so many times before but it was pretty damned bad because of a few changes. I'll try to describe what happened because talking about it is helping me relax and realize I'm awake now.

I woke up suddenly, and knew instinctively that I was in bed because I remember thinking, "Damn, it's so hot under these covers." Hearing the usual whirring of my fan, I was going to simply turn over on my other side to feel the fan better. And then I couldn't move. I couldn't open my eyes, and then I felt the familiar presence. I thought, "Oh fuck, here it comes again."

When you've got sleep paralysis, you can struggle and struggle with all the strength you've got in you and you'll still be unable to move an arm, unable to even open your eyelids--it's that bad. I didn't hear my fan anymore and the silence was murder...and the presence was coming towards my bed. When it finally got to standing at the side of my bed, I couldn't see it (I never have) but I knew what it was like somehow. I sensed its arms raising over me, trying to do something clearly malicious.

These sorts of feelings are NEVER rosy and happy. Santa Claus never traipses into your room and the two of you hang out over milk and cookies. NO. This thing is a shadow...something demonic. Something deeper than demonic. And it wants to fucking kill you, or something worse--you know that immediately and I assure you, the feeling is nothing short of terrifying. Especially because you're lying there, exposed, vulnerable, and unable to do anything about it because you're paralyzed.

I kept struggling to move my entire body but I couldn't. I felt like this entity was holding its arms out over me, exerting some power, and whatever that power was, it was making me...shake. I can't explain it any better than that, but it seemed as if I was convulsing without...moving physically. I'm sorry if that makes no sense; it's something you'd have to experience to know. This time I also heard a noise, but thinking back on it right now, I'm not sure when the noise actually occurred. It was a sort of humming, that was getting louder and louder, like this thing was emitting it as it was shaking me.

The thoughts, You know, this happened before, you know you'll just fall out of it, try to calm down, entered my head, and when they did, my body relaxed and the effort I previously used to try and move my whole body instead concentrated in my eyes. And I opened them--not even halfway, but goddamn it...I opened them. Do you want to know what I saw? You probably think, "nothing, thank god" but no.... I wish I could've seen nothing.

I saw a shadowy sleeve...something ripped up and clearly an arm. Think of the ringwraiths from LotR. The way they're shaped, hooded and cloaked, is just how I always sense them, and the sleeve seemed to verify that. The sleeve was retreating out of my line of sight, and exhausted from the simple effort to barely open my eyes (or eye), I closed them again. I felt the sinister feelings fade away with the...thing...and I allowed my self to calm down. Oddly enough, I didn't black out, or at least I didn't feel I did.

I opened my eyes when I'd finally gone over things in my head, and got out of bed, fully awake. I hadn't been sleeping from the time it happened to now, it felt like. That's part of why these things are so horribly scary, I think. Maybe I did black out for a moment and didn't realize it, or maybe this was just a full-on waking event. I know with night terrors you're always supposed to feel completely awake, even more so than a vivid dream. Vivid nightmares come nowhere close to feeling this real.

[takes a deep breath] I feel so much better getting that out...I know sometimes I've laughed when I told people my mum had a bad dream and wanted to sleep in my room. But that's only to sort of ease up the bad feelings I get when she does it, so no one will know how much it disconcerts me. We both get sleep terrors, I'm sure of it now, and I never mind if she wants to sleep in my room when it happens. I know that might sound weird to some of you, but if you had these episodes too, you'd definitely want as much company as you could find. I'm going to get a bit of reading done to ease my mind a bit further. Even though I've only gotten a total of four hours of sleep tonight, I definitely won't be going back to sleep any time soon. :P

Thursday, March 2, 2006

I want to sleep.

Feeling calm
Listening to the whirring noise of the elevators....
Currently addicted to sleep...sweet sleep.
Currently irritated by the sudden changes in temperature.
Current MSN details: don't remember, hahaha.
Today's Cards: n/a


I really, really, really want to sleep.

Just one more class, which I hope is short. Doesn't mean I'll get home any sooner, considering I'll still have to wait for my brother. Grr arr, I wants me nap. [growls like bear]

I feel so good having not gone to rhetoric today. Such a small thing, but such a big improvement in the way I'm feeling. I don't feel like throwing up from stress for the first time this week, and though I've got a headache, it's because of the changing weather. (One minute I'm freezing my arse off, the next I'm burning up under the sun. >.x)

I've discovered I really treasure small things...today in history I was drawing and Dr Kenway came by and said, "You're really good at that sort of thing, eh?" and I do notice every time I draw he always looks at my pictures as he walks by. [laughs] Little things like people noticing something like such...it can make my day. Another smallish thing that happened but made my morning bright--I had this great dream last night where I woke up as a man (not a new dream, haha) and everyone was freaking out, telling me, "You can't go to school like that! Ohmigawd what are we going to tell mom when she gets home?! Ohmigawd!" I dunno, I love love love dreams where I turn into a guy. They're so much fun. x3

Hmm...

For some reason, a few minutes ago (and completely out of nowhere), I decided that Julian Sands has relaxed my nerves. He doesn't do this all the time...just now. I have no idea why though. o_O So here, because he maketh me happeh for the moment:



... ... ...That was so random.