Feeling more pissed off than you can imagine, fucked over (for the umpteenth time)
Listening to "reise in die unendlichkeit" ~ mechanical horizon
Currently addicted to AHHH FUCKING KICKING SOMEONE'S ASS DAMMIT!!!
Currently irritated by SCHOOLSCHOOLSCHOOLPEOPLESCHOOOOOOLFUCKINGSCHOOOOOL
Randomness: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!


DAMMIT!!!

I cannot count how many times I get in trouble for something I DID NOT DO. I'm sick of it!!! I HATE SCHOOL!!! HIGH SCHOOL CAN BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!!! IT IS A BREEDING GROUND FOR PURE, UNADULTERATED ANGER.

I'm sick of it, I'm sick of it, I'm so fucking sick of it!!!!!

I'm not going to stop going, because I'm inches away from graduating, and once I get that over with, I'm never ever going back again. So unfortunately, no dropping out. The consequences of staying in school are better than leaving, especially after coming so far (bullshit and all).

Lian and I are teacher aides for fifth period. The teacher told us there was some sort of special thing for WEE (this work experience whatever that we're supposed to go to every Tuesday; I never go because it's always crowded and the work teacher NEVER explains what's going on because she always starts without us) we had to go to in a room across the school. We said, "Okay, we'll be back later then," and went. So we went (there were cops everywhere and they were apparently looking for a certain someone who did something bad), but it was crowded, and this guest speaker was there, and we felt it'd be rude to interrupt. So we went to walk back to our class so we could do our little TA duty and help the teacher like we're supposed to. [growls at everything]

And we near the office and this counselor and her boss (aka the principal) are there, and we didn't have a pass, because THEY NEVER CHECK IT ANYWAY. But this counselor wants to look good 'cause her boss is right there, and the cops are swarming the school looking for their homeboy-delinquent or whatever, so she says, "You two, come with me." So we do, even though we were going back to class, minding our own business, doing absolutely nothing wrong, unlike the other kids they picked up (who were wandering aimlessly).

She asks us what happened and we tell her everything that happened. She calls the work teacher and that bitch is all, "No, they didn't check in." And Lian and I are all, "Umm, helloooooo? We went but left. We never 'check in' for that class. We always just go in and sit down."

And so the counselor was like, "You guys have detention because you lied." And that just made me sooooo mad, you can't even believe. Someone accusing me of lying when THEY'RE the one lying (BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY TELLING THE TRUTH HERE!!!!) is...AGH. So she calls our parents and goes, "Blah blah, your daughter/sister (my brother picked up) has to stay after school because she was dishonest."

WTF. I would've felt like I was staying after for a somewhat REAL reason if she'd said "They were walking around school without a pass" or something. But "Being dishonest"? WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?!!?!?!?! For one, we WERE NOT DISHONEST. Two, last time I checked, IT IS NOT A CRIME TO BE DISHONEST (unless you were being charged with murder or something, not some useless-ass shiitake like this).

So we went to the fucking work class and then when we got back to our regular TA class (where we were headed when we got figuratively screwed in the ass), we told Mrs. Zupkas and she was like, "That's not right! I think it was because all the cops were looking for someone--who they didn't find, by the way--so you guys just happened to be out there at the wrong time." IN YOUR FACE EVIL PRINCIPAL AND COUNSELOR (WITH STICKS UP YOUR ASSES), even she knows!!! And she usually sides with teachers!!! That's saying something, man.

Mr. Gough said it was totally wrong too. He said I should have my dad call and yell at the school (which I will if the so-called events of this day ever come up again and I have to go to the office or whatever) because it's complete bullshit. I said my mom or dad would be pissed--but not at me. And that was satisfying to remember. (By the way, I told my mom what happened and she did get pissed, bwahaha.)

So Lian and I go to stay for detention after school. The detention teacher never comes. So another counselor lady (who is nice; thank you, Mrs. Bengston, for not being A COMPLETE ASSHOLE LIKE THE REST OF YOUR CO-WORKERS) just had us write out our names and said, "Go ahead and go. You guys came." So we left. I saw the detention teacher coming and he was asking everyone, "Are you in detention?" but Lian said "No" while I just stayed silent and walked away in a sort of angry daze. My better half told me to say, "Yes, I am." But my common sense side said, "No. You're not. You're angry. You're not supposed to be in detention. You didn't do anything worth receiving it." So I was silent. Besides, Mrs. Bengston told us we came and we were free to go. So, we technically didn't do anything wrong. AS USUAL.

This always happens, you know. I'll be sitting at a table and everyone BUT me is talking and I'll even tell them to be quiet. Then the teacher makes the entire table stay after class.

"But I wasn't talking," I always say. Because I never was. But I still have to stay anyway. I'm tired of taking the shit for other people for something I never did. It's horrible, it's unfair. And don't give me that whole "well, life isn't fair" bullcrap, because you know what? Life ISN'T fair. But it sure is a whole lot more fair than that, and can be fair when it needs to be.

I'm so tired of being the scapegoat. It's not right.

When I first came to high school, I thought, Hey, maybe it'll be fun. At the end of it now, I don't want to be there. I hate it more than anything else. I never want to go. My mom always wonders why I don't want to go. Because it's a miserable place. It makes me furious. It gets me stressed. It makes me say things I don't like to say. I can't think of anything that makes me angrier than school does.

I also used to wonder how kids could shoot up their schools. I was like, "That's terrible! There's no excuse for that!" But now, at the end of it all, I actually understand why. I don't blame them anymore. They wonder why postal workers go crazy too. It's the same shit. No respect. Getting treated like dirt.

Teachers abuse their authority. I was always taught to listen to them because they were the elders or whatever. I don't respect them anymore. They think that since they're the big people on campus, they can order you around and treat you like shit just to make their injured egos get a little better.

They need to start realizing the respect goes both ways.

Give me no respect and you shall receive none in return.