this is a title, wow!

Feeling spiffeh!
Listening to "tsuki no uta (instrumental)" - gackt
Currently addicted to tarot, my blanket
Currently irritated by my feet being so kcufing cold
Randomness: Hoo hah.


Yes, after years of no-title-ness, I finally got irritated enough by my blog links that I decided to put in titles. I didn't do this earlier simply because I wanted to keep everything looking the same. [is stupid sometimes]

So...ahm, here you are. A title for you.

Once again, because my devART journal and this blog are quite similar a lot of the time, I'm posting the amusing newsness that someone (Barren) asked me to marry him on the Baten Kaitos forums family thread. [smiles, amused] Someone adopted me as their daughter (and so I have a brother, woo) but I didn't expect any proposals.

...okay, just a little bit. [laughs]
I was actually just waiting for him to finally ask. Ha ha ha...and so I am ein married Belus! And I get to have wedding cake! And from the looks of things, vampires lurking around. XD

Haha...what strange things occur on the BK boards. XP
And D-Ren knows I saw this one coming. [laughs]

Uhm, I want some tarot cards already! I've been reading up on various things but I was trying to be patient with the actual reading parts, because I asked for decks of tarot cards for the big 25-12 but I just...can't...take it anymore! I NEED TO READ. [laughs] And at borders, they had a deck I wanted but I only had $21 with me and it was $25. AIGH. They had another deck I was considering, and I was thinking of getting it...but I'm an idiot and didn't. [slaps self] That's all right, I'll get one very soon, I can say that. [triumph]

On a related subject, I'm considering making my own Tarot deck. n_n I don't see too many pretty AND symbolic decks (it's always 'or') so I want to be one of the few who can add to that list. ^^

Feeling like an old woman
Listening to "go film" - covenant
Currently addicted to siopaooooooo mm mm. :9
Currently irritated by having to take a freaking piss every five minutes. (don't drink soda before bed!!!)
Randomness: "especially when giving someone a rapper of something I just finished just to be mean lol 'here, merry christmas' and they'll go "gee...thanks' lmao" ~sweetyt (tina) XD


WOO I finally figured out where Sadriel will fit in...if I ever do RPs, he's my main man. [hugs sadriel, he smells like lavender] Mmmm mm. So I made a profile for him on the Magic Users United RP on the BK forums...I'll repeat it here too as I'm too lazy to get onto dA right now.

(notice I'm getting nerdier every day?)

SADRIEL [say-dree-el]


- B A S I C -
[alignment] dark
[species] shapeshifter
[gender] male (unless he shapeshifts into female form but he does that only when he needs to)
[age] unknown, although he appears to be young (late teens to mid-twenties)
[date of birth] 9 november (Scorpio; water sign)
[height] 6’3”/190.5cm
[weight] 170lb/77kg
[hair] dark brown
[eyes] amethyst


- P E R S O N A L I T Y -
[air] elegant, graceful, quick and agile, mysterious
[temperament] he’s very cool and composed, perhaps even irritatingly so; he keeps his anger inside, until he fights.
[words] deep and clear voice, doesn’t speak often because he’s usually deep in thought. He also has a tendency to cuss in a foreign tongue.
[weapons of choice] a slender, short blade (no guard); a whip; also carries an antique flintlock-type pistol in a hollowed-out book
[usual outfit] long black coat, black and off-white striped top, off-white pants tucked into black knee-high boots, black choker [CLICK HERE TO SEE]
[trademark] often narrows his eyes and bites his lip, usually paired with a tilt of the head (especially when taking someone into regard)
[discerning features] he has slightly fang-like canines (no, he’s not a vampire)


- H I S T O R Y -
[my note: this is merely for that RP storyline...if I use him for others, this is obviously going to change; he always stays a foreigner as well as mysterious, though XP]
Not much is known about Sadriel except that he mysteriously showed up when everything went wrong. He travels the land, and is seemingly a foreigner--not just from another region or country, but from another world completely. He sometimes speaks a strange language that no one else can understand, and has talked a little about his homeland of Torval, which no one around has ever heard of. [my note: if you know my stories at all, which you most likely don't, you should know he's from Irryllun/the Dream World] No one quite knows what his motives for wandering around are, either. He’s an all-around mystery.


- O V E R A L L -
[pros]
- quick and stealthy, he can sneak around easily
- he can shapeshift into animals for a wide range of abilities
[cons]
- he lacks physical strength
- he can’t shapeshift into objects, and he can sap his strength easily depending on what form he takes (i.e. changing into a sparrow will obviously cost him less energy than changing into a bear would)
- he is often mistaken for a woman even when in his normal male form X3

Feeling so freaking sleepy
Listening to MXC on TV
Currently addicted to drawing. AHH.
Currently irritated by my throat...
Randomness: "isn't she the one that killed herself to death?"


AHH! I need to stop making new characters.
Character of today, who has been swimming around in my mind-idea-soup for years now...he/she's finally got a name. [laughs] Yes, he/she. He changes gender at will. But it tires him out. [will call him a he because he's usually a guy anyway]

His name is Sadriel and he's named after one of my sexeh sith guardians, Adriel. And I was drawing him in bio lab...he's way pretty. In his own way. Once I draw a good pic of him, I'll show him to people. Via deviantART. of course. [laughs]

He is...consuming me right now. [tempted to draw him again] I'm not really sure WHAT story he's in but he's definitely magical. I'm not sure whether he's evil or good....

Anyway. I'll probably draw a pretty picture tonight. <3

p.s. must thank Adrienne. [cries happy tears] X3

Feeling not too well...
Listening to the last samurai soundtrack
Currently addicted to the sims, tarot, planning my writing
Currently irritated by school
Randomness: "seymour = sex on legs" ~ requiem (quote totally made my day)


I honestly don't think I've ever felt more lonely than I do right now.
I find it strange because I seem to have lots of good friends, but the thing is, none of them are around physically.

School is especially bad. In high school, no matter how much I hated it, there was always at least one person to talk to, like Liz last year. Now there's no one at all. I suppose that's not such a bad thing, but even the most anti-social need company sometimes. And I'm not quite that far gone. I'd still like one or two good friends to hang around with. I guess I'm not really the type who gets along well with a group of friends, but I'm not really wanting a group. Just one or two people.

[laughs quietly] I think I might just be mood-swinging because it's that time of the month, or because my tablet is dead and it's left me with so many unfinished items on my list, which in turn is stressing me out, along with school projects that have suddenly popped up out of nowhere on me.

Nonetheless, it doesn't change the fact that I'm lonely. Perhaps writing will help my mood a little. People in high school used to ask me why I wasted my time making up such ridiculously detailed characters. I do it because they're all I've really got...they never leave me, they never let me down, they're always there when I need them. I just wish they could do a bit more for me sometimes. They're living, breathing people to me...not just fiction. I care about them, I honestly do. If others find that strange, then they can find it strange all they want. But it isn't to me.

Writing is how I can get away from everything, if only just momentarily. If it can make me forget everything I don't want to worry about, then I'll keep doing it, even if it's not any good, or no one else is interested. I'm mostly doing it for myself, but I also want to publish my work so that anyone else in need of an escape can share my own personal portal into that other world...where there are people who care, issues to be passionate about, feelings to be touched....

With that said, it's only a month until my Thomas's birthday, and I don't think anyone realizes how much he really means to me. It actually never totally dawned on me until yesterday evening. Sure, he's just a character to you, a figment of my imagination, but he helped me realize so many things about myself. In a way, he is me, and I am him. As he develops, I learn more about myself. He may not have been around for as long as some of my other characters, but he's been around for quite some time. He made himself present in days like these, where I felt alone and down, and he's never been completely away from my side from that time. So here's to six years of a constant companion, and to an eternity waiting in the stars. [smiles]

To you, all this may seem like mindless rambling, but I assure you, it's not. Perhaps I'll look back on this and wonder what in the hell was wrong with me, but for now, I mean every last word, and I feel better for having let them out.

I'm sorry if this was angsty and livejournal-y, and overly dramatic...I don't let this sort of thing out that often, though... Perhaps not often enough. I'm not asking for pity; only for an outlet. This is my outlet; you don't have to read it.

Feeling okay
Listening to "Second Skin" ~ Ego Likeness
Currently addicted to what else? XP
Currently irritated by the sun, thinking it's sunday when it's only saturday
Randomness: why, thomas, that's just...too naughty!

Um, I'm bored...I decided to finally create a dream diary. If you're bored enough to wonder what the hell is going on in my mind as I sleep...here you go.

Six Silver Stars

Things xy needs to do right now:
Still working on my Tarot Café quiz, which might take a while since I'm working on other things as well. Need to finish colouring for 'D-Ren' (hahaha), finish Elysa's bday thing that is about an eternity late, and finish up a little sumfink I started last night which is turning out mighty nicely, ah reckon. XP Also need to make some sexellent icons for myself and ze Adrienne, and one for Foe because she keeps nagging me about it, haha.

And I think that's it for today. Yay stupid dream blog!