I don't like school.

Mood: Depressed
Playing Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney

I'm at school, sitting here with Elysa waiting for my creative writing class to begin...today was...hmm. I ended up waking up late (I had trouble sleeping), at around 9:15, so I missed my first two classes, and got into astronomy late. Oh well, at least I showed up. I ended up having to email my comm instructor my outline. I hope he accepts it; I worked so hard on that....

I forgot I had to write up more reviews for people in creative writing. Oh well, I can always give it to them on Wednesday. I hope. I also need to write something for the MUU RP. I have little notes for my post set out but besides that, nothing.

Elysa made a little red and black bunny for me. [laughs] 'Tis cute. He's leaning against the monitor...I called him Mars for his coloring. Well, mostly I thought about it because they were asking if he was a boy or a girl, and I had the male symbol in my head, which is...yeah, Mars. :3

When I get home I'm going to go to bed. Today hasn't really been a good day.

wow, so-called smart people are so stupid.

Mood: Irritated
Eating oatmeal
Drinking water

So I signed up for Experience Project a few days back because I thought it was a cute idea. Well, I started a group called, "I...love Klaha" of course. At the top of the page, it reads: Masaki Haruna, Japanese artist with an amazing voice. And I wrote a story that shows up on its front page that says: I wish he would sing again. I miss his amazing voice and his expressive music....

Then some person comes along and writes:
I do not know what Klaha is. Maybe I should, but I don't.

Okay, WHAT Klaha IS? There's a picture of him there, he's obviously a he, and not an IT. It says who he is. I don't expect a person to have heard of him, of course, but at least don't call him an IT.

So I commented:
I don't really want to be rude, but can you read at all...? (Because HELLOOOO? It's all over the fucking page.)

Later, I get a private message with the subject "You Are Rude!":
Just because I do not know what Klaha is [notice the use of "what" and "it" again] does not mean that I cannot read. I am actually very well educated with a master's degree from an Ivy League school. So pardon me if I do not know what something is that you happen to like. Maybe you are the idiot!

Oh, great. One of these types. [rolls eyes] So here's my reply:
Ha ha ha, you think you're so great, don't you? Well, o educated one, it says all over the group page things like:
"Haruna Masaki, Japanese artist with an amazing voice"
"I wish he would sing again...."

Doesn't take a rocket scientist (or an Ivy Leaguer) to put together that Klaha is a musician. Sure, you may not know who he is, but not knowing what a "Klaha is," well....

Why am I arguing with you, anyway...? You're obviously too above the likes of little me, with your Ivy League education, and all.

Here's her reply:
Obviously, you are the loser! You do not have very good people skills and are not very kind! No wonder you are lonely and feel so ugly! Regardless of how you look on the outside, the way you feel about how you look is a reflection of how you feel about yourself as a person. I am sorry that you are such a miserable person!

Ouch. My reply:
Oh, so now you're taking super-personal jabs. Real classy. :D

Obviously, I am the loser? You make it seem like I called you a loser. I actually get along with people just fine, thank you very much. I just don't get along with people who think they're thousands of times better than everyone else.

I'm not lonely, and I'm not ugly. I'm in a great relationship full of lots of love, and I have the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for. Sure, I'm not satisfied with my looks at times, but right now, I feel beautiful--inside and out. I'm far from miserable.

[laughs] She even wrote a story in the group "I am a loser". That was just too tempting to pass up. I commented:
And you called -me- a loser?

come saw some wood with me.

Mood: a bit calmer
Watching Innocent Escapes, featuring "Random but Understandable Breakdown", "Because It's Monday", and "That Thing You're Going Through"
Drinking water


Well, I decided to revisit an old friend, Brawny's Innocent Escapes. The sensitive and creepy Brawny man told me that my random breakdown was understandable, and listened to me very carefully. I could've sworn there was a bit of a glitch in the matrix a couple of times as he did, but he listened nonetheless. Then he invited me to saw some wood.



I feel a little better. Those make me laugh so hard. XD

I am never taking xopenex again.

Mood: Panicky
Listening to my heart beating way too fast for my liking.
Watching Anchorman
Drinking water


Well, panic attacks are no fun. :\

I took my fast-acting inhaler, which usually makes me shaky, but this time my heart started beating a little fast, too. Well, I thought I was gonna die, and I still kind of do, but now I think it's just anxiety. [sighs]

I called my mom and asked her if it makes her shake and her heart beat faster, and she told me it does, so I guess I just need to try and calm down. Kind of hard to calm down when you're already freaking out, though. [sighs]

Ugh, god, I feel so shaky and weak and I feel like I just want to vomit. Ah, my chest.... [cries] I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I'm trying to reassure myself by reading the anxiety symptom page I always look at, and true, a lot of them work out.... Not to mention side effects for Xopenex include trembling, rapid heartbeat (though it says that's a rare but serious one...gaah), and anxiety. I tend to have panic attacks when I take it, so I'm going to finally listen to my mom and stop using it unless I really, REALLY need it. She said that since I've started on prednisone, too, that I shouldn't take it. Bleh, it's like I'm just freaking out even more. ):

Urrrgh. [puts head down and cries]